Zhana Zulkifli Lah Weh !

WHAT IF ?

how do we need to respond when everything doesn't feel rights ?when the walls are crumbled down and fall apart ? .Then how about when you tried to fix back your smudging mascara after crying the whole day ,you put a drop of make up remover on a cotton face as if it working easily as the promoter said .but it come to your disappointment ,after you use nearly a bottle of them ,the smudge still can be seen here and there on your cheeks .you feel ugly and wanna cry again and just laying on your bed till your mom wakes you up with a glass of milk in her hand .or else you take a pill to relief the pain in your chest without knowing it almost bring you to a dark side .

what if one day ,you notice that your conversation on that sofa wasn't the way it use to before ,filled with laughter and joy .you think it all because someone had replace the couch sheet with the new one that got stripy black and white on it instead the one with a flowery English pattern .you know it from the first time you sit on it ,the flower one attracts you to buy it .but now ,you feel like wanna throw that sofa away as if you never like it and never attempt to own it before .

what if one day ,you had notice that the movies series you watch since you were kids has no reason to be watched anymore .you are no longer like about how the actress tie her hair to the campus ,didn't like the way she matched her shoe with her striking color handbag and you didn't like the way she was talking to the football captain while strolling pass down the school hall .back way then ,she used to be your idol .you told your mom to buy a handbag that is exactly like she's been carrying around through the whole season ,forcing your mom to tie your hair just like her with the same hairpin so the boy you admire the most will take a twice look at you and you use to act on how she talks while hang around with her girlfriends .now ,as if you had forgotten all of them and totally embarrass on how you desire to be a lot like her in the past.

what if one day ,you notice that you quickly shift to the other tracks right after your favorite track starts to play .you might think ,it seems out of date and lot of people didn't sing to that song anymore .how about your memories buried underneath it ?you made it as"our song" after your first love ask you for a movie then straightly takes you to the most romantic candle light dinner .you whisper in your heart that it was the time of your life .you feel like both of you are meant to be together and deciding with all your heart that he is the love of your life .the tracks are kept on running like a hundred times but none of you even dare to say a word on how boring that song sounds .now ,you deleted it from your play list because the melody is dead and got a zero soul .

what if one day ,you notice that the reason above has nothing to do with what you feel right now .CHANGE is the keywords .for that reason you realize that you don't have enough strength to holding on it tightly anymore .you understand that you didn't have a minute just to sit and stare at a blank future .all you had left to do in this empty thought just to sit there crying for the whole things that had been gone out and and slipping through you finger just like a water running down your body when the shower is on .